Captain Crunch

According to Troy, the only flavor that is appropriate to accompany crunching is sweetness. Savory is right out. He remains uncommitted on the issue of salty.

Example: "See? Yong brought Cinnamon Toast Crunch. That is sugar. That makes sense. He did not bring 'Shrimp Potato Toad Crunch."

Make Troy Try This Potluck

Troy has not tried a myriad of rather mundane food items. It is time he did. He has tried sushi - by far the scariest of average foods - so it makes little sense that he has NOT tried, for example, guacamole. This will be a list comprised of foods that ordinary folk have experienced by at least adolescence. But yet Troy has somehow managed to avoid. Once the list gets long enough, we should have a Troy-centric potluck. It'll be fun!

1. Artichokes - dips or otherwise.
2. Avocados - in any form

Help Yourself!

Once a bag of cookies, formerly stapled, has been completely opened and a hand inserted, beyond the initial staple zone, it becomes food for the masses. "Help yourself to the cookies!"

NO ENTRY!

When offered a cookie, don't open the bag beyond the staple zone and insert your hand. This, of course, assumes that you are offered a cookie, from a bag, that has been stapled for disease prevention.

Disease prevention

When sharing cookies, staple the bag so that one may not reach his entire hand into the bag, thus forcing a pour and preventing the spread of disease.

The Chip That Goes Crunch

Rule
To eat Doritos in the office:

1. Only use two fingers to pull out the next ONE--no need to reach in your whole hand unless it's absolutely necessary--this will draw undue attention right away.

2. Don't scrape your teeth on the way in--that means you're eating too fast.

3. Make sure your mouth is closed completely.

4. Look around.

5. Pause.

6. The first couple bites should be slow and methodical.

7. Slowly accelerate chewing.

8. Repeat.

Example
Troy - "You're eating those chips too loud."

Miss You Much

Rule:
If you go on vacation, Troy will miss you and sit at your desk.

Example:
Troy is sitting at Adam's desk and has been for the past 2 days.